Saturday, August 11, 2007
07:55:23 PM
It is one of those moments when I feel down Lord. Suddenly, it seems as if I have nowhere else to go. I murmur and sort of question where I am right now. I am tired and I feel lost. I want to complain about this life You gave me. I want to go to the peak of a mountain and stand face to face with You and ask why? Why this life? Why here? And why now?
But Your silence talks to my heart… which I can not drive away. How do You do that Father? How do manage to hug my heart silently - touching my wounds? I know, because You are the author of compassion. You are the very source of love. And I know that even if I want to give-up, I know in the very depths of who You created in me, You will carry me through. To whatever fire or war I will endure, because You love me. I know You do. I believe You do. So much that my being insane at times makes me wonder why You care for someone insignificant as me? I have the guts to grumble with this obstacle, but I forgot what You have to give up for me. You gave up Your life for me. You took off Your crown to go here on this sinful earth as against to Your holiness just so I can have life and live it to the fullest. And I complain with this petty little problem? Let me love You more. I want to always feel Your hand touching my heart. I just want to rest in Your shadow. Because I know I do love You, well maybe not as much as You do but I do. From the very core of the soul of my heart, I know I can never find anyone who could love me this deep. So let me love You a little deeper than what I am giving You right now. Let me understand my purpose and have peace in my heart that will transcend and go beyond fears and doubts. Because You promised You will never give up on me. I will hold onto that promise until the time comes when I don’t have to climb a mountain just to talk to You. I look forward to that time when I can hug You and embrace the One who never gave up on me. I love You Father. I know I will always come looking for Your love for there is none like You.
I guess, I want to just lay all of these emotions to You because I trust that You are the Only One who can put up with all my foolishness. That’s how much You accept me and my senselessness. Father, never let me go. I need You to be my everything. Cause I am nothing without You. Hold me Father. I worship You.
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