Deeper Than This

July 14, 2006
Friday, 12:06pm

Courage is the power to let go of the familiar. And through the seasons of my existence, that element of my character has been put to tests. As the years progress, my need to be myself and the valor behind that sprung gradually. This life serves us certain and unforgettable situations which God has written to mold us into the person the He has purposed for our lives. I flunk in this subject time again though, but I have to choose to stand up even though brutally injured since it is the only way out. God has been and will always be patient with us. And I appreciate that a lot.

Being a Born-again Christian in such a mundane world is expected to be challenging. That is why the scripture tells us not to tire on doing what is right. This world will always find a way to boil our blood. We need to be strong and courageous. Stand firm and just look unto God. Only by the Spirit we can do what is righteous in the eyes of our Father. Sometimes it is better to be deaf and not hear the whispers of discouragements. Right now, how I wish to be the boss in a company. To have my own business. My own way, my time and my choices. The reason is so I do not have to answer to anyone, of course except to God. I know I need to work like Paul making tents to avoid depending on others. Yet, moments will come when it hinders you to do what you want and needed to do. We can not expect unbelievers to understand that our lives as Christians are devoted to God. Seek Him first. Perhaps this is the rationale why God gave me the audacity to speak my mind and dare to defy those who try to challenge our faith. We need it from time to time. Now I understand why this is how the very strands of my soul are woven. I know I will never be worthy, because it is only by grace that Jesus accepted my life as a living sacrifice… I am completely grateful that in spite of my imperfect past, today and tomorrows, our Father gave His son as a ransom for my sins, in exchange for my soul. He received me and does not remember my sins anymore. All I can do now is to ask Him to make me love Him deeper than this. That everyday of my life, I will approach His throne, like the way Israel did it with a year old lamb, morning by morning, and offer all that I am to Him as a living sacrifice. This is my spiritual act of worship.

Today that I am twenty-four, I am thankful that God has chosen to reveal himself to me. I don’t like regrets, but if there is anything in this lifetime, that would be that I should have heeded God’s words earlier in my life. I surrendered my life to him four years ago, how I wish it was at an earlier time. Therefore I could have served Him longer with the life that He gave me.

I want to serve my Father. This is because I love Him. Yet still, there is a deeper explanation behind it. Like Benny Hinn or Rhinehart Bonnke, they are serving Christ with everything they have. Why? Because they love Jesus? NO. It is more than that. Because He first loved us. A very unconditional, indefinable, incomprehensible and infinite kind of love. It is the reason behind all creatures in existence. It is the reason of our very being and of our very purpose. He gave His all, now He is asking us our everything.

Looking back, I was the type of student who avoided all kinds of vices. I had good grades. I fear my parents and I want to obey them. I thought that I have what it takes to succeed. But when I came to really know Jesus, when I was standing there in front of His magnificent and glorious presence... I felt worthless. Sinful. Unclean. I am nothing. That is the truth. And it set me free. Because had it been God did not make me realize how unworthy I am, I would not understand His salvation -- which is His love. A love which heals wounds, gathers the strays, lifts the hopeless and breathes life to the dead. A love that is never ending and most of all, consistent.

I have found my purpose when I found the Lord. He is the reason why I am here. He wants me to worship Him. He wants me to love Him. That is why I pray for a love deeper than this. A love that is the only reason why I have hope that life will get better in each passing day. There was one Sunday morning, we were worshiping God before the start of the preaching. I kept seeing my self, enjoying life, walking and singing praises to God on the streets. And then at the end I saw my self in my old age with peace and joy within. Then I asked God what it means. Answer – I will reach my destiny, a life which is prolific, meaningful and blessed because there is but ONE GOD WHO FIRST LOVED ME.

Be magnified in my life.

Oh Father, be magnified.