When Priorities Change

January 27, 2006
Friday

There is this health book which I found in my mom’s room. I turned to the page about chronic stress syndrome and I read how to reduce or avoid it. One way is to think about what makes me feel happy, and doing it. That means so much more. We have different ways of living. We vary on how to define happiness because we are unique, distinctly made by Yahweh. And when I ask my self this question, I had one answer. Going to church on Sundays. Then, I ask another one… self-righteous?

I assess my life from time to time. Checking whether there are rotten vines or some unproductive ones to be cut off and thrown to the fire. Honestly, I do love going to church. It is not superficial. It comes from the very water that flows within me, I can not even understand why I feel this way… but I do. There are a lot of times that I wish I can relate to other people. They love inviting me to the mall, go out of town or see a movie. And most often if not always I say “pass muna”. It is not easy being different from most of the people around. It seems something is wrong with me. Am I being too much? One said, I am too conservative. Some, though not direct to the point would say… “get a life.” Honesty, I appreciate their concern about my happiness and enjoyment. Although admittedly, I believe I need some more social life, but the rest I feel satisfied. I am most happy when I am alone. Considering that the loneliest days of my life is when I am with someone else. Well, what is my point? God wants us to be Christ-like. He urges us to live holy lives. Wait… I don’t consider my self holy, but somehow, in one way or the other I try to follow God. I wanted to do something to show Him that I obey. Why? I ask myself… No, it is not because I want the planet earth to see I am good, or a true born-again Christian. I do want to follow Christ simply because I want to return, although I can never out-pay Him for the price He paid for me at Calvary, at least do show Him how grateful I am for what He did to me. He saved me. He gave me life and made me live. He gave His Son Jesus Christ as a ransom for my very worthless, insignificant, useless, and rubbish (more adjectives?) soul for one incomprehensible reason. He loves me. God so love this world, in spite of every wicked and devilish act which desolated this once paradise domain. I can never look at life the way I appreciate it right now if not for Him who awakened my senses. That is why I told my self, Sunday is non-negotiable. People say I am overly dramatic when it comes to this. I think I am. Who wouldn’t be in the first place? The Lord God captured my heart… He did so much in my life… that when I think of how much He loves me and accepts me knowing I am a nobody… I feel so blessed. That the King of Kings and Lord of Lords who is perfect and Almighty cared to even look at me and call me by my name… gently knocking at the door of my heart, humbly asking me to let Him into my heart so He may take away my sins and cleanse me completely to be reconciled with God. How marvelous. Glory to Him alone. I confess that sometimes I do get tired of explaining to people my stand with Christ and my faith. I don’t even feel worthy of sharing Him to other people because I am a sinner. But I do want people to know who God really is, not just the Creator or the One in heaven, He is so much more than that… because He is really the Only answer to this life’s question. He is the treasure. Truly, every thing begins and ends with Him. He is like the Morning Breeze, Fresh and Soothing. He had been knocking at the door of my heart even before I breathe out of my mom’s womb. But it took my stubborn heart nineteen years before giving Him a chance. He has been outside of my heart that long, but He never got tired of knocking. At times I would even push Him away, until I realized how foolish I was for not opening the door as soon as the gospel reached my ears. I believe the sole purpose of every human being to live for Him. And with the help of the Holy Spirit, I am striving. This is the reason why my priorities changed. I used to watch every new movie out in the theaters, I used to love listening to love songs soaking my ears to those mellow tunes while emoting completely, I loved this world and everything that encompasses it. But now, I have found the love of my life. [Sigh]. Even if it means the world will hate me for it. Even if it seems absurd to others, or just plainly weird. It is the life given to me by our Father. Something I can not turn my back from, because He never did. He made everything beautiful now in my life, even if it is not. Who wouldn’t change his priorities? Our principles are being molded into His own laws. It is hard to follow, difficult to even maintain, but He is in us now to help us abide, that He may also remain in us. Perseverance I guess was invented that we may endure with Him. Until all things fade… So, I admit, my priorities have changed.