That Vast Shallow Grave

Father,

I want to buy new sets of clothes Lord. You know that I wish to have more, I pray for more of what this world can offer me. I dream of the tangible things to be on my hand and have a full life. But You know my situation. I actually feel stuck with the job which I believe deeply in my heart is the work that You want for me. I am now in my mid twenties. And I felt I could have more. Or is it just me? I want to quit but I know I will not. Not until You say it’s time. I want to find a wealthier land where I can have the things I need or want. But this is where You want me to be. You have thousands of promises in Your words, and I do believe in them. It is just that sometimes my being in this flesh exacerbates certain situations. Although not enough reasons for me to doubt the great and indefinable works of Your hands. And so Father, I worship You right now. From the very depths of the Spirit that You breathe in me. Help me understand and trust that You mean untold great things for those who seek You. Because I know that even if I don’t experience acquiring great wealth which is this world’s measure of triumph, I have the greatest treasure in my heart. And that is You, My Father in Heaven. Forgive me when I doubt. Forgive me when I ask for more because “who am I to even just call Your Holy name?” And I value my extraordinary relationship with the Most Powerful. Having to come to Your throne and share my unimportant thoughts whenever I feel like it is life itself. Precious in all its purity and magnitude. That is the treasure. My knowing who You are. And who You are in my life. You filled that vast shallow grave in my head and covered it with the representation of Your love, the blood that You shed on Your own accord on that cross. What wealth could measure up to that? Not even the treasures of all that is buried underneath this earth. After all, You are the one who placed it there. So here I am, now understanding gratefulness because You reminded me that I should be contented with Your love. Thanks for Your time. I value these moments Father. Moments when I can just come to You without needing to set appointments nor pay for tickets just to be with You. These precious times when I come to You without a need to prove anything, not even try to show You I deserve this moment with You because I know I don’t. I will never deserve this. But every time I come to You, I am warmly accepted and deeply loved. Let me love You more. More than this. Until I met You, I never thought that someone could love me far beyond the measure of love I thought I deserve. How can I thank You? What can I offer You? How can I love You more than this Father? Make me. I admit that I am weak, but I believe I have strength only when I am with You. Because You are my strength. My soul magnifies You Father. Take all of me.